Fantasy Man
by Alpha-alien
Summary: Amber wanted nothing more than to be with the Joker. She had planned everything in her head, but she's about to find out that the Joker's not how she thought he would be.  Songfic/Oneshot   M to be safe.


Okay, so this is literally my _second_ songfic.

Don't ask what my first songfic was, I won't reply. c':

Anyway, this came to mind while listening to Fantasy Man by Alice Cooper.

Er, about the Joker, I haven't seen the Dark Knight in a while, so I don't know if I got him spot on.

I might have accidentally pulled bits from the Animated Series Joker.

:c

Sorry if I did.

Reviews are still nice, regardless.

* * *

Fantasy Man

_I don't drink tea_

_Or white Chablis_

_I sit around and watch TV_

Wind picked up and she pulled her coat around her. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath. She knew he had escaped from Arkham just last week. He was out causing more chaos around Gotham, but she didn't care. She admired him, loved him.

It was foolish, she knew, but she couldn't help it.

Was it a childish crush? Possibly.

Was it an act of rebellion? Maybe.

Did she care? Certainly not.

_Don't send flowers_

_Or take showers_

_But I'll be there to pull your weeds_

_Oh yeah_

This young girl, having run away from home, barely reached seventeen. It was late, and she was on the wrong side of Gotham City. The Narrows. A young, small girl alone did not mix well in these parts, but she didn't care. She knew he was here, and he would protect her. Why wouldn't he? She enjoyed causing mischief and chaos as much as he did! They were two sides of the same whole! She smiled, imagining herself in his presence. He would laugh, and ruffle her hair. She would kiss him and it would be perfect.

Wouldn't it?

_I don't read books_

_I don't french cook_

_Or stroll around in galleries_

_I hate opera_

_I hate Oprah_

_Don't fill my head with poetry_

"Well, lookie here, fellas, we got ourselves a little girl."

"Aw, you lost little girl?"

She stiffened, and turned around. Behind her were three, no four, men. They were grinning, laughing, and licking their lips.

"We'll help ya, little girl." One spoke, taking a step forward. She took two steps backwards, feeling afraid. This wasn't right. This wasn't supposed to happen. No, no no no. She swallowed, and tried to look tough.

"Back off, dipshit. I'm not in the mood." This caused the group to laugh out loud.

"Boss will like you. He likes them with a bit of fight."

_You just want to squeeze my masculinity  
why can't you leave it alone_

She was grabbed, and as much as she twisted, fought, screamed and kicked, logic dictated that four grown men could easily overpower a small seventeen-year-old girl. Especially one who opted for choir rather than the cheer squad.

"Let me go, asshole! I mean it! I'll rip your fucking head off!" she screamed, squirming more. They all laughed, and dragged her into a warehouse.

"Oh, boss! Lookie what we found." Unceremoniously, she was tossed onto the cement floor. She groaned, and pushed herself up. "Fucking shit piss and hell," she muttered.

"Mmm, I'd watch that mou_th_ if I were you." Her head jerked up at the voice. Looming over her was the Joker.

_Hey, hey I ain't gonna change  
Hey, hey don't you love it this way  
Hey, hey I am what I am_

She was frozen; here was the man of her dreams, and the one she fawned over, examining her like a vulture.

"Well, don't just lay there, speak!" he snapped, frowning. "Or, does the, ah, cat got your tongue?" he giggled, poking her nose. She opened her mouth, but a small squeak was all she could manage to push out.

"_Squeak_? Squeak! Lookie, boys! We caught a mouse!" Joker laughed, and the group of men joined, nervously. "_**Shut up**_!" the fell silent. "Let's try again, girly. What is your name?"

"A-a-amber." She finally choked out. "My name is Amber."

"Well, Amber," he said, licking at his lips, "what's a little girl like you doing in this neck of the woods, _hmm_?"

Again, she couldn't find her voice.

_So please understand  
I'm not you fantasy man_

"I, er, well," her brain didn't want to string together a decent sentence. As much as she tried, she could only manage a few words in gobbledygook. Amber took a deep breath. "I was actually looking for you."

"_Me_? Why, I'm honored." He smiled, looking down at her, still circling around her crumpled frame. "Why would a good little girl like you go looking for _me_?" Her heart was pounding, as her mouth began to get dry.

"I, I wanted to join you."

"_Join me_? Girly, I don't have an open house." Joker stopped in front of her. "You gotta _earn_ your spot." He smiled.

"What can you give _me_?"

_I don't do dishes  
and I'm suspicious  
of any grown-up man who does_

"Well, I, er," what could she do? She never expected this. None of it. She had no idea what to say. She was terrified, and was beginning to question the logic behind her coming out here in the first place. The Joker was looking at her so intently, as if he was expecting her to do a trick. She didn't know _what_ she could do. "What, what do you _want_ me to give?" she finally asked. Joker stared at her a moment, before laughing wildly.

"You are a _delight_," he choked between laughter. "Hilarious! _Hee-hee_!" she smiled, at least her reply hadn't gotten her killed.

"Can you kill a man?" her smile dropped.

_I'm homophobic  
don't do aerobics  
Just lay around and catch a buzz_

"Can I, what?"

"Kill. A. Man. Or woman, whatever." Joker waved his hand around, rolling his eyes. "I guess the correct way to say it would be 'Can you _kill_ a human being?'." Amber's mouth dropped.

"I, I don't know. I mean, I've never killed anyone before," she muttered, fingers beginning to twitch and fidget with a strand of hair. "I mean, I-I g-guess I could-d." she was so afraid. She wanted to go back home, but she couldn't. Not when she was this close. Not now, not ever.

_You just want to squeeze my masculinity  
why can't you leave it alone_

"Well, you better fin_d_ out if you can," Joker said, looking down at her. "I don'_t_ need any _loose ends_ in my _gang_, get it?" He flipped out a knife. "Tick, tock on the clock," he sung, amused. Amber began to sweat and her lips quivered.

"I, I can! I can kill someone, if that's what you want!" she said, quickly, her eyes following the blade as it metronomed back and forth. Joker smiled, and knelt down. He grabbed her face and brought it closer to his. She gasped, her cheeks flooding with color. Her heart pounded and her breath shortened. What now? Was he going to kiss her? She swallowed, hard.

"Tell me, _Amber_; wanna know how I got these scars?"

_Hey, hey I ain't gonna change  
Hey, hey don't you love it this way  
Hey, hey I am what I am_

Her mouth opened and closed as the Joker smiled. His tongue flicked out like a snake's, teasing the Glasgow Smile on his face. She could smell his breath, and it smelled like a mixture of rotting eggs and stale beef. She fought hard to keep her bile from rising.

"I was young, once. _Your_ age, and I fell in _love_ with a girl. Oh, she was beautiful." His knife gently moved part of her hair back behind her shoulder. "But, she never noticed me. She liked _dangerous_ guys, _bad boys_. Boys who weren't afraid to get hurt. So, in an attempt to _woo_ my lovely, I saved up, and got a motorcycle. She began to notice me, so I pretended to break my arm. She cooed and began to hang around me. She sat with me at lunch, and even _fed_ me. I couldn't have been happier." He smiled, and traced the blade across Amber's cheek. The metal felt cold against her warm skin.

_So please understand  
I'm not you fantasy man_

_Hey, hey I ain't gonna change  
Hey, hey don't you love me this way  
Hey, hey I am what I am_

"But then, a new kid shows up at school. _Rico Suave_ with his cigarettes and tattoos and piercings. _I_ couldn't compete with that. No, never. She began to ignore me, again. She never even noticed my sling was gone and I was using my arm like nothing was wrong. I wanted her back. I needed to have her." He licked his lips, again, and the tip of the knife teased the edge of Amber's mouth, causing her she shake.

_So please understand  
I'm not your fantasy man_

_you just want to squeeze my masculinity  
why can't you leave it alone_

"So, one night, I took my brother's pocket knife." He pulled back his knife, and flashed it before her, like an example, "and stuck it in my mouth. I figured if she liked body mutilations, then I could do the ultimate mutilation! Sound logic," he frowned. "But, when I went to school the next day, she _screamed_. She, _Rico Suave_ and everyone else. They were _terrified_ of me. No one would look at me; no one would speak to me." He smiled. "So, tell me, girly. What would you have done?"

_Hey, hey I ain't gonna change  
Hey, hey don't you love it this way  
Hey, hey I am what I am  
so please understand_

Amber couldn't speak. Her brain refused to function. It didn't even want to try. His story was still soaking in when he frowned, and stuck the knife into her mouth again.

"Why so serious? Did I _scare_ you?" Her brain finally kicked in.

"No! No! I'm not scared!" she said, wanting to turn away. She jerked away, causing the Joker to grab her by the mouth.

"No? Pity. I can't have anyone here that's not _afraid_ of me. _That_ might cause a re_bellion_!"

It wasn't supposed to be like this. Amber's minds shouted as the Joker carved open her mouth. It was painful, and it burned white-hot. She begged for it to stop. Tears spilled out of her eyes.

She could see him holding her, kissing her, making love to her, even. He wasn't supposed to _kill_ her.

But that's what he did.

_I'm not you fantasy man_

* * *

Oh, just in case someone's OC is named Amber is is seventeen, I _swear_ the coincidence was not intended.

;A;

Not trying to flame or rip on someone else's story!

Kay, thanks for reading!

*you can still review, you know. c:*


End file.
